Full Page Ad from the 12 September, 1943 Issue of the Des Moines Evening Herald
As the Garrisonian Party continues to worm its way into everyday American life, their methods have become ever more insidious.
For more information, refer to earlier analyses of captured propaganda and psychological warfare materials.
Content warnings: Creeps, gaslighting.
The following notice appeared as a full-page advertisement in the September 12th, 1943 issue of the Des Moines Evening Herald. Per the paper’s sales department, the ad was purchased by the marketing department of Crown Pharmaceuticals.
The ad was later run in over sixty newspapers across the United States and overseas.
Crown Pharmaceuticals has continued to stonewall attempts by officials to question anyone regarding their increasingly strong connections to the Garrisonian Party. Another two curators have been allocated to the Crown task force and relocated to New York City for closer proximity to the company’s Bronx headquarters.
One official in Tennessee ordered Phenomen-All via the advertisement in the latest Bastion Americana Freedom Journal and presented it to Researcher General Gonzales. Thge package arrived as a cardboard box filled with water-soluble pellets that form a gel when add to soil. Analysis reveals its chemical composition to be a near-identical match for a substance found in a damaged vial recovered during an investigation conducted by Deputy Regional Inspector Freeman over one year ago in North Carolina. (See the A.D.A. entry entitled ‘FWS-X3.’)
Although the commercial product is a severely diluted version of the FWS-X3 compound, the results were still striking. The garden vegetables exposed to the compound during their gestation process experienced final growth weights averaging four-hundred-percent higher than usual.
No long term studies have been completed regarding the effects any trace exotic compounds found in the oversized vegetables might have on human physiology.
It is unknown how direct exposure affects living animals, either, though Crown Pharmaceuticals’ involvement with the Heartland Heroes indicates they have some idea. After only weeks studying Vargulf remains and captured Vargulf transformation serum, they were able to create the creature known as Tanner. Although the unnaturally massive lion may currently be trained and contained, there is no telling what other subjects have been exposed to their growth chemicals.
Continuing the criminal investigation into Crown Pharmaceuticals’ board, practices, and projects is strongly recommended. Establishing a long-term study for those who regularly ingest food grown using Phenomen-All is strongly recommended.
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Copyright © 2025 Daniel Baldwin. All rights reserved.
Written, edited, and illustrated by Daniel Baldwin. Banner art by Tyrelle Smith.
These articles and materials are intended for fictional, artistic, ironic use only. They are presented as examples of how fascist philosophies can be packaged and how information can be twisted to incite political reactions.