As the Garrisonian Party continues to worm its way into everyday American life, their methods have become ever more insidious.
For more information, refer to earlier analyses of captured propaganda and psychological warfare materials.
Content warnings: Creeps, gaslighting.
After an early morning raid on a violent Tridente Cremisi cell located in Philadelphia, curators from the Office for the Cataloguing of Unusual Occurrences discovered a cache of over four hundred pounds of propaganda materials among firearms, explosives, and counterfeit currency.
One of these posters intended for mass distribution is provided below:
The Bureau for Cataloguing and Reference has provided the following transcription:
Abe Allison says… “If you can’t safeguard yourself, you can’t safeguard America!”
America’s Police Officer and Rover team up with the Resolute Fitness Klub to provide easy steps you can take to make America strong:
It is your patriotic duty to be healthy. If you don’t make America stronger, you couldn’t be doing in wronger.
Save yourself from parasites and cook all meats thoroughly. If there’s pink in the middle, put it back on the griddle.
Abstain from deviant behaviors. If there’s something you’re doing and you’re afraid someone will look, stop right there and open the Good Book.
Don’t let your tobacco poison you. If your cigarettes aren’t Crown Filters, something is off-kilter.
Real men are ruined by city life. Return to the wilderness oft so you don’t become soft.
Beauty measures the worth of a society, take pride in your appearance. Those who are worthy and dutiful stay pale and beautiful.
Don’t let the next generation be lax, either. Visit your local Patriotism Board to enroll your boys in free boxing classes. Motherhood classes for girls hosted at participating churches.
This notice sponsored by: The Garrisonian Party, Crown Pharmaceutical Corporation, the Bastion Americana Freedom Journal, and the Resolute Fitness Klubs of America.
This flyer contains a depiction of a heavily armed white man on a motorcycle accompanied by a large armored dog, presumably Abe Allison, also known as Safeguard and America’s Police Officer, and Rover.
Bureau for Cataloguing and Reference Analysis:
The listed sponsors for the flyer are not unexpected, save for the presence of Crown Pharmaceuticals. As Crown is engaged in the production of medical supplies for the United States Armed Forces, Printmaster General Bellegarde has already arranged a flight to New York City to interview their executive officers and board.
A cursory review by Deputy Regional Inspector Malloy confirms that the above depiction of the Garrisonian agent known as ‘Abe Allison’ is accurate. He cannot verify whether ‘Rover’ is a real or fictitious character.
The loose network of gymnasiums and health spas known as the Resolute Fitness Klubs of America is currently under investigation by the Internal Revenue Service.
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Copyright © 2025 Daniel Baldwin. All rights reserved.
Written, edited, and illustrated by Daniel Baldwin. Banner art by Tyrelle Smith.
These articles and materials are intended for fictional, artistic, ironic use only. They are presented as examples of how fascist philosophies can be packaged and how information can be twisted to incite political reactions.
The patriotic advice is on point. If most citizens follow it, the country would be much better in less than a year.
Btw I have a personal question I left inbox, you can check it out when you have time